The Greatest Album Of All Time

by Funboy Five

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dougkermit If there was any justice at all in this world, the BBC would revive The Old Grey Whistle Test right now and get whispering Bob Harris to play this album in it's entirety on primetime TV on a repeating loop.,
It is that good.
I may be a wee bit biased here but this is well worth your pennies.
Kermit of Hemel. ;0)
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Kermitose 03:03
There he goes, Kermitose Where he goes, no-one knows
I'm The Talk 03:50
I’m the talk, I’m the talk of the town I’m the dish I’m the dish of the day I’m as drunk I’m as drunk as a lord I’m as high I’m as high as a kite The bird in the hand lets the cat out the bag It weighs a tonne and sticks out a mile I've an axe I've an axe to grind I've a bone I've a bone to pick I've an itch I've an itch to scratch don’t count chickens before they hatch You’re a flash a flash in the pan you’re a red flag a red flag to a bull you’re as hard you’re as hard as nails you’ve gone off gone off the rails When it comes when it comes to the crunch you’ll be out you’ll be out to lunch I won’t beat won’t beat about the bush that’s your lot ‘cos you’ve lost the plot
I can feel time just slipping away Same four walls, day after day Government worker, Department of Thing Across the desks, the telephones ring... No time to save the world Christie and Meltzer were right what they said The Floodgates are open so get out of bed Many are chosen, many are called To bring the clash between the rulers and ruled Fire in the sky, slowing of the clock Get a funny feeling that it's all gonna stop It's all got surreal, it's the strangest day Bang on the head and it's all been a dream, eh? I can see the future and it's coming this way No more walls day after day Government worker, Department of Thing Across the desks, the telephones ring...
Devious Donna as matter of honour Went to San Diego To see the eclipse Two weeks later She’d gone insane With a bowl of tequila and a jar of cocaine That’s life in the land of the living Luscious Liza was an actor São Paulo Boca do Lixo things went wrong in front of the camera and she became the face of Crâcolandia That’s life in the land of the living Honolulu Lulu went cuckoo crossing the Andes On the back of a horse she soon knew it’s a stupid thing to do she’d rather be in a Wakiki tiki That’s life in the land of the living
Red Herring 04:08
The day’s too long, the night’s too short as things contort and then distort it’s in your sight but the light’s too bright as time goes by in the wink of an eye It’s in the way but it’s here to stay won’t go away no matter what you say you feel the rage coming off the page can’t do a thing in a troubled age Red herring You want to shout like a roustabout but what comes out is the sound of doubt hither and tither, slither and dither fine ideas on the vine they wither Red herring
From Hanoi to Lhasa From Hanoi to Lhasa Radio Free Asia Radio Free Asia From Xinjiang to Kaesong From Xinjiang to Kaesong Radio Free Asia Radio Free Asia In Cantonese and Lao and Khmer In Cantonese and Lao and Khmer Radio Free Asia Radio Free Asia Voice of the free to a non-believer Voice of the free to a non-believer Radio Free Asia Radio Free Asia Raise the heat, raise the pressure Raise the heat, raise the pressure Radio Free Asia Radio Free Asia
It used to be so easy writing lyrics every day but now it’s getting harder to say what I want to say I used to be a singer now I’m a celebrity I used to be a person now I’m a commodity Now let’s have word from the sponsor of this song Who really thinks the chorus doesn’t quite belong I used to be tomorrow now I barely make today just like any falling star I belong to yesterday you used to be that groover is all I hear them wail final curtain come down oldies are on sale
Loose your heart to an arcane art tear the day apart forgotten words, forgotten thought forget what you’ve been taught If time could lie then I could die and come back the next day it’s not a trick when you think of it (the) return of english magic The cynics and the hucksters say the glory days are gone but their words are an illusion the magic carries on Hear a cry from the speaking sky ravens flying by wind set free, a twisted plea moonshine lights a tree A frozen glance, a final chance words you can’t pronounce scenes inside the mirror stick (the) return of english magic an arcane art will take your heart tear your life apart it’s not a trick but a conduit (the) return of english magic
Can you hear them wail? too big too fail What does risk entail? When you're heads and you're tails Vipers of the commonwealth! Vipers of the commonwealth! Vipers of the commonwealth! They’re vipers of the commonwealth Are you playing a game in a mad arcade? Why are you afraid of Mutual Aid? Do you know your place In the global race? Are you in the grip of a vile embrace?


The first entirely intentional album* from the Funboy Five, The Greatest Album Of All Time comprises songs written and recorded mostly between 2016 and 2018. Most of the ten have been re-mixed and re-mastered to varying degrees for this collection, a few have not (we’ll leave it to listeners with accurate hearing to guess which) while ‘No Time To Save The World’ is a complete re-working of the 2014 single ‘Save The World’.

*For an unintentional album, see 2015’s vinyl remembrance of songs past, ‘Landmarks, Ruins and Memories’, released in solid vinyl by Ave Phoenix.


released January 5, 2019

On this album, the Funboy Five are augmented by the vocals of Dawn From Next Door ('Kermitose') and Hannah Saunders ('Radio Free Asia', 'Life In The Land Of The Living', 'Vipers Of The Commonwealth').


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Funboy Five Twickenham, UK

Formed in January 1979, the Funboy Five recorded a radio session for the influential John Peel Show, and a single, Life After Death/Compulsive Eater, released in January 1980 on their own Cool-Cat-Daddy-O label.

In 2014, the band revived with a new vinyl single, Save The World/What Did You Do With The Body?, followed by further singles and 2019's 'The Greatest Album Of All Time'.
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